The moment I found out I was going to be a mother was not at all how I ever imagined the moment to be. The longest three minutes of my life. I placed a pregnancy test on the sink, while waiting I nervously chipped at my nail polish, I stared at myself in the mirror, picked up the test and covered the results. I called Josh and asked him to look instead. We weren’t jumping up and grabbing our phones to alert our friends and family, but we weren’t sad either. We both wanted to have children together someday, it’s just that, that day came sooner than we expected. I thought about the job opportunity that was presented to me, and what I was trying to pursue, I knew having a baby on my hip would make it difficult. So I made a choice. I went on the computer to look up where in my area I could get an abortion.
” I’m fine with any choice that you decide to make, you’re not alone.” Josh said those words to me. I went to sleep that night secure in my decision. J held me the whole night, it was the first time in months that we never moved a muscle while asleep. The next few days I kept pushing back my appointment. I knew I had to get it together, and get on with it, it’s amazing how your life can change in a New York minute. Josh looked at me and calmly said ” I’m here for you”
I made a choice.
Ava Elizabeth was born March 9th 2014.
The moment when many find out they’re going to be a mother is not always magical, it’s scary. I was terrified, but I was fortunate enough to have support and security within my space to make such a choice. Many don’t, women including girls all over the world, don’t often have that freedom of choice , to look in the mirror and say to themselves ” I have time to think about this, I have options” When they know they’re not ready for such a moment, but sadly a decision is made for them anyways. I actually care about ALL LIVES and that’s why I’m pro-choice. There’s a woman right now that just found out she’s going to be a mother, and her decision doesn’t need to be examined or discussed. That moment was mine to bask in regardless of my doubts and concerns it felt good to know that In that moment, I had choices.
Peace & Love,
Thank you for reading! There are the other creative mothers that participate in The Together We Mother series check them out below!